The other night at dinner, we somehow ended up talking about the slow dismantling of pensions and tenure. One of those conversations that starts casually and then suddenly everyone at the table is leaning forward because underneath it sits a much bigger fear: What happens when stability disappears? What happens to a society when even the people doing essential, deeply human work can no longer count on being cared for long term?
Teachers came up, of course. Burnout. Public service. The strange way entire professions now seem built around asking people to give more while receiving less. More emotional labor. More sacrifice. Less rest. Less security. Less protection.
And somewhere in the middle of that conversation, I remembered CHANI and Jacob Tobia.
So many workplaces still ask people to edit themselves in order to belong. Be professional. Be agreeable. Be less emotional. Less queer. Less complicated. Less human. Less female. Less disabled. Entire systems quietly reward people for shrinking themselves.
Especially during Pride Month, these two pieces felt deeply connected to me. One names the pressure to conform. The other dares to imagine what work could look like if people were allowed to remain whole.
CHANI ‘About Us’ page
CHANI is a queer, feminist-led team on a mission to support everyone in living their purpose. We believe that astrology can be a tool for healing and self-awareness, and hope that it can ultimately help transform us and our world for the better.
We start within, by prioritizing our team’s wellbeing with a salary floor of $80,000 before benefits; a four-day workweek; fully covered health, dental, and vision insurance; a 401(k) with 5% match; unlimited menstrual leave; gender based violence paid and protected leave; seven weeks of paid office closure a year; unlimited PTO with a vacation stipend; and a wealth-building stipend.
We also believe in mutual aid as a practice and give 5% of all our company’s revenue directly to queer, trans, Black, indigenous, people of color, and/or disabled survivors of gender-based violence via freefrom.org
Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story - Jacob Tobia
“At first glance, professionalism tries to convince you it’s a neutral word, merely meant to signify a collection of behaviors, clothing, and norms “appropriate” for the workplace. We just ask that everyone be professional, the cis white men will say, smiles on their faces, as if they’re not asking for much. We try to maintain a professional office environment. But never has a word in the English language been so loaded with racism, sexism, heteronormativity, or trans exclusion. Whenever someone is telling you to “be professional,” they’re really saying, “be more like me.” If you’re black, “being professional” can often mean speaking differently, avoiding black cultural references, or not wearing natural hair. If you’re not American, “being professional” can mean abandoning your cultural dress for Western business clothes.
If you’re not Christian, “being professional” can mean potentially removing your hijab to fit in, sitting by while your officemates ignore your need for kosher or halal food, sucking up the fact that your office puts up a giant Christmas tree every year. If you’re low-income or working class, “being professional” can mean spending money you don’t have on work clothes—“dressing nicely” for a job that may not pay enough for you to really afford to do so.
If you’re a woman, “being professional” can mean navigating a veritable minefield of double standards. Show some skin, but don’t be a slut. Wear heels, but not too high, and not too low, either. Wear form-fitting clothes, but not too form-fitting. We offer maternity leave, but don’t “interrupt your career” by taking it. And if you’re trans like me, “being professional” can mean putting your identity away unless it conforms to dominant gender norms.”
I am professional because I am honest. I am professional because I show up as my full self. I am professional because I have the courage to be different in a world that demands conformity. That is what makes me professional—not a dress code, not a suit jacket, not a pair of heels.”
by Chani Nicholas, retrieved from the company website at this LINK
by Jacob Tobia, Sissy, A coming of Gender Story at this LINK.
Invitation: “My dream for equity is…”
Chani Nicholas is a New York Times best-selling author and astrologer with a community of over one million monthly readers. She has been a counseling astrologer for more than 20 years, guiding people to discover and live out their life’s purpose through understanding their birth chart. She has been featured in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Rolling Stone, the New Yorker, the Atlantic, and multiple Netflix series.
Find her book Afterwards: Poems here https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/21303080.Reagan_Myers
If you are enjoying The Community Table and would like to support our work consider making a donation. While the offerings on the Community Table will always be free - we appreciate any support you can provide to continue helping us set the table for creating community.
We will meet for the Community Table every Monday at 4:30 pm or 8:00 pm (EST) - Go to our calendar at this link for details: https://courageouscommons.com/events/
June Courageous Citizen
Enjoy Dennis Kucinich’s wisdom below.
“Mr. Speaker, we make war with such certainty, yet we are befuddled how to create peace. This paradox requires reflection if we are to survive. Making and endorsing war requires a secret love of death, and a fearful desire to embrace annihilation. Creating peace requires compassion, putting ourselves in the other person’s place, and all of their suffering and all of their hopes and to act from our heart’s capacity to love, not fear.”
Dennis Kucinich, at this link by Robert Shetterly
What does it mean to be professional in the workplace? Jacob Tobia offers -- "I am professional because I am honest. I am professional because I show up as my full self. I am professional because I have the courage to be different in a world that demands conformity."
What stayed with me is the idea that integrity is not something we wear but something we carry within. Sometimes the hardest work is not adapting to a role, but remaining whole while inhabiting it.