“It would seem from the dictionary that the verb “guy” is another word for “guide” or “control”: bearing a very resemblance to “husband.” It means “to steady stay or direct by means of a guy. from the French guying.” The noun means “ person whose appearance or dress is odd.”....
I think my friend is probably exasperated with me because of what I said last night. After all, “you guys” is a habitual expression in conversation around the world; I am asking her not to call me something that comes easily, apparently, to her. I think perhaps I am a trying friend to have; one who wonders, as I can't help but do, why this should be so. The magic of naming is that people often become what they are called. What evokes in me this word from her? I will call her up in a day or two and suggest we go for a walk and discuss this issue in the open arena of nature, where the larkspur is not called delphinium and the hummingbird is not labeled dove. Grass is not called tree and rocks are not called bears. When I look at her I see a black woman daily overcoming incredible odds to live a decent, honest, even merry life. Someone who actively nurtures community wherever she goes. Someone who raised a strong daughter and now shows affection and attention on a beautiful grandchild. I see someone who dances like a Nubian and cooks like a Creole. I don't respect " guys " enough to obliterate the woman that I see by calling her by their name.”
Anything We Love Can Be Saved by Alice Walker, Pg. 189-190.
Invitation: “ the magic of naming …”
More About Alice Walker - HERE
Alice Malsenior Tallulah-Kate Walker is an American novelist, short story writer, poet, and social activist. In 1982, she became the first African-American woman to win the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, which she was awarded for her novel The Color Purple. Wikipedia
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Indeed, words are powerful. To me, being a friend is to trust that we can hear truth and pain. I have always disliked "you guys". Alice Walker reminds us to be mindful, do not call me out of my name.
What an important reflection and instruction on naming from Alice Walker. I am deeply grateful also for her gentleness and thoughtfulness in her response: seeing her friend in the full context of her life, and inviting her friend into a space where a walk in nature’s garden might teach her…with Alice as her Field Guide.
Thank you, Jean and Pat for this transformative, life-giving space and place.